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Saturday, July 5, 2014

My Purpose In Life? aka My Mind is a Scary Place


What is my true purpose in life?

I don't know.
This is dumb.
Living life.
Making money?
To be free.
Being creative and fun.
Having pretty stuff and a pretty house
Looking hot in a bikini
Finding a man
Having friends and loved ones who are by my side no matter what.
Taking care of my kids.
Being the best person I can be
Becoming a ninja
Being sarcastic and snarky
My true purpose in life is...
I got nothin'
Did I mention this is stupid?
To grind my enemies into dust. Wa ha ha!
Painting
Being the greatest artist who ever lived!
I want to be loved for who I am warts and all.
My purpose is to get my shit together because my life is a mess right now. I barely have a job. I am scraping by month to month. This is no way to live. What the fuck am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Is this my quest? Am I in the dark forest of despair looking for light to guide me out? Am I my own light? Snap my fingers and flame lights upon my fingers. It doesn't burn. It illuminates the way. I am picking my way slowly so I don't stumble and fall. I am scratched and bruised. My clothes are torn, but I keep going. How did I end up alone on this journey? I remember. No one wanted to go on this quest with me. I chose it. I didn't belong where I was.

What the fuck was that?
It felt good though.
What is my true purpose in life?
To never feel comfortable and safe.
To struggle and push.
Finding what I am made of.
Partaay!
No.
There's the snarky part again.
My purpose is to live life that feels authentic.

My purpose is to be annoyed by ignorance and hatred.
My purpose is to be a super hero. Fight for truth, justice and the American way.
Right wrongs.
To feel nervous and weird. To be different and not fit in. To somehow keep stumbling, but thinking if I am true to myself someone will recognize me and smile. They will like what they see. They will want to help me. They will be on my side. My companion.

My purpose is to work retail and stand on my feet all day so that I can barely walk after my shift is over. To go to college and still be a loser who can't find a job. Hello snarky how are you?

My purpose is to be me and to have an authentic life. My purpose is to just be the best me I can be. That may include trying to look hot in a bathing suit. Ha!

My purpose in life is to be authentic and see the funny side of life. To laugh even when I want to cry. To make an inappropriate joke at the right time. To smile and laugh.

Oh my gosh! I'm Spider-Man! Shy and nice, but I have my snarky wisecracking side. Now I need a super power.

Fight the good fight

My purpose in life is to protect others. To be a good person. To be the nice girl despite people trying to tell me to be something else.

My purpose in life is to be authentic and good. To be an example of authenticity. To make pretty stuff that makes me smile. To share that pretty stuff with others.

I'm beautiful dammit!

I am running out of stuff. I am stuck.

What is my purpose in Life?

Arrrrrrrrr
Stupid
I don't know.
I am a good person
My purpose in life is to be with my kids. To draw and paint stuff. To be a pain in the ass. To question stuff. To be uncomfortable.

To grow and learn. To become more of who I am. To be curious about the world. To laugh and share friendship. To be silly. To be strong. To be independent. To come out of the dark forest a better person. To be my own light in the darkness.

To be my own light in the darkness. To help others find their light?

My purpose is to glow.

My purpose is to shine.

To laugh in the face of danger and hardship. Ha ha ha...

I'm Batman

I'm Shannon

I am a nerd.

My purpose in life is to be a light in the darkness. To laugh. To cry. To be angry. To never give up. To keep going. I am strong. I will not be defeated. You can't make me fall.

My purpose is to be strong.

My purpose is to fight

My purpose is to be a light in the darkness. To protect the less fortunate. To stand up to evil and indifference.

What is my purpose in life?

To be shy and feel helpless. No. just writing to write.

I was interupted with this train of thought and I don't like this it is making me crazy

Stupid purpose in life

Stupid stuff being whiney and angry. Leave me alone! This sucks. Grrrrrr.

My purpose is sarcasm and being judgemental. Are you going to wear that?

My purpose is to live my life with authenticity. I am nice, silly, stronger than I think, and brave. I am willing to face hardship to do what I think is right. To stand up for my beliefs. Sure I take lots of naps. The world can be so overwhelming. I am authentic. That keeps coming up.

Authentic, brave, silly, and loving.

My purpose is to find beauty and be enthusiatic about it. To notice beautiful things. To be joyful in the beauty of life. To explore and learn and share.

My purpose in life is to be authentic, enthusiastic, and curious. My purpose is to learn about my place in the world. To share my enthusiasm for the beauty of life. To share laughter with others. To be curious and keep learning.

My purpose is to be a total spaz about what I like and to share it with others. My enthusiasm is contagious. To unabashedly enjoy life. To be silly and fun. To be gentle and goofy.

My purpose is to struggle with myself.

What? That's rediculous. Why would I do that? Because I am not happy with myself? No. I just want to be loved for who I am. My purpose is to learn to be the best me I can. Uh, that would be authenticity. That keeps coming up.

Am I getting anywhere with this?

I'm tired. I want to go to bed or watch tv.

Quiet strength and kindness. Shy but funny. Curious but cautious. Skeptical but Hopeful. Sensitive but judgemental. Learning to be compassionate. Learning patience. Learning independence.

Quiet strength and resolve.

I am enough.

I have a right to take my place in this world.

My purpose is to take my place in this world. To be authentic and true.

My purpose is to a light in this world. To be a flame in the darkness.

This is making my stomach roil. What the hell am I saying?
I was more comfortable with the jokes.
Am I a light? Am I a warrior?

WTF?

My purpose is to a light of authenticity. What? Does that make sense? I'm getting a headache.

My prupose is to make pretty stuff that people can like. It will make them smile and see the beauty of the world in a little object. Because I made something with the way I see the world. I will share myself with people through my art.

I will share myself with people through my art. I will show them what the world looks like to me.

I will make them smile and see the beauty of the world in a a little silly object that will make them smile.

My purpose is to make toeh people happy with my art Tha share myself with theem with my stuff I make. It could be sily and small but that is okay.

I will share myself with people through my art. It will make them smile and see the beauty of the world in a little object. I will light them up inside. Iwill light myself up inside. Little pieces of myself to share.

My purpose is to share myself with people through my art. Make silly little objects of beauty that make people smile and light up.

My purpose in life is to share myself in my art. To make stuff that makes people smile.
Okay this sounds crazy. Sigh....
Make stuff

make pretty stuff

make stuf
My purpose is to make stuff.
This question is pisssing me off.
My purpose is to get annoyed at this question and throw a tantrum.
To be nervouse and scared. No to be strong and creative.
To make stuff that will make people smile and feel happy. To make things that are light hearted and fun. To show beauty and creativity. Silly and fun. Make people smile.

My purpose is to have fun and laugh.

To win the lottery
to win stuff
to get a foot rub

to make jokes
to never get this right
purpose
purpose
purpose
purpose
purpose


be me.